Patience is a Virtue

Lately we've been riding a huge roller coaster of emotions: elation when we hear of a potential situation, disappointment when it's not really what we were looking for. Another situation, another high...send out the profile, and...nothing. Jittery nerves while we wait on pins and needles to see if we're selected, but we don't hear back. So hard not to get attached to each situation...we read paperwork on each one, find out details about the pregnancy, the baby, what the birth parents want for their child. We start to hope, and then we just hear nothing. We think often of the babies we've read about...are they ok? Did they go home with a loving family?

Just last weekend we got a call about a baby due in May. The price is out of our range, but there is a possibility it might come down, if the due date proves correct (the agency was guesstimating). In the meantime, we were allowed to read the paperwork the birth parents had filled out to see if we might be interested, should the price come down. The answer is yes, we are very interested! Out of all the situations that have come to us in the past few months, this one just resonated with me. I love that both birth parents took the time to fill out tons of detailed information on their backgrounds, what kind of family they want for their child, and why they're putting their child up for adoption. That was the first thing I noticed...the amount of detail. The second thing I noticed were the similarities in our interests, and our ethnic backgrounds. I fell halfway in love with the birth parents based on what they filled out on their forms, and we haven't even figured out if we can submit our profile. The birth mom was scheduled for an ultrasound yesterday to determine her due date, and if it was sooner rather than later, the price would come down and we could submit our profile. Except I haven't heard a thing. I am not a patient person (just ask my husband), and this waiting is killing me. Since we haven't heard anything yet and it's Friday, I have at least two more days before I might hear something. And the funny thing is, I'm waiting on pins and needles to see if we can even submit our profile, let alone be picked! I keep telling myself that I shouldn't get attached to this situation, but it's so hard not to make contingency plans in the back of my head...if the baby is due in May, I'll take maternity leave through the summer...then bring the baby to work with me through the end of the year, and the baby can start daycare in January. I've got it all figured out...about 3 steps ahead of where we currently are. What? I'm just being optimistic!