The Beginning of The End

Today, February 11th, marks the anniversary of what I think of as "The beginning of the end." Three years ago, today, I was standing in my kitchen, making dinner, while my sister-in-law held my 5 week old son. One minute I was happily chatting, the next I had started hemorrhaging. So fast...it happened so fast. Unfortunately, a diagnosis wasn't as quick, as it took my doctors almost a month to decide what was causing these repeat episodes, and by that time, it was too late for any treatment but the most radical. I spent more time in the hospital that February, than out of it; three weeks in all. February, for me, will always represent a downward spiral, each date of a hemorrhaging episode branded in my memory, leading inexorably toward The End. While the hysterectomy undoubtedly saved my life (along with a 10 pint blood transfusion), it also ended our dreams of becoming pregnant again. I am so incredibly grateful, every day, to have my beautiful, healthy son, and to have been given the chance to experience pregnancy once...and I know, one day soon, we will be parents again through the miracle of adoption.